I'm Not Everything I Want to Be

Synopsis

I'm Not Everything I Want to Be is a documentary film directed by Klára Tasovská that chronicles the life of Czech photographer Libuše Jarcovjáková. The film is constructed entirely from Jarcovjáková's extensive archive of thousands of photographs and her personal diary entries.

The documentary follows Jarcovjáková's journey as a young artist in Soviet-era Czechoslovakia, beginning in the oppressive "normalization" period after the 1968 Prague Spring. Faced with political and social constraints, she finds her creative and personal freedom in the city's underground, documenting the lives of marginalized communities, from Roma people and Vietnamese migrant workers to the vibrant queer scene of Prague's T-Club.

As the film progresses, it follows her travels and artistic evolution, including a period working as a fashion photographer in Tokyo and her time in West Berlin, where she witnessed the fall of the Iron Curtain. By pairing her raw, black-and-white photographs with her own narration from her diaries, the film creates an intimate and profound self-portrait. It is a powerful testament to the role of art as a means of personal survival and a search for identity and belonging amidst the political and social upheavals of the late 20th century.